You may be lying next to each other at night, wondering when you started feeling like two strangers in the same house.

Life may have become busy, stressful, or painful, and somewhere along the way you began living on parallel tracks. You may miss the closeness you used to feel — the ease, the affection, the sense that your partner really saw you.

Maybe you keep having the same argument. Maybe one of you pushes and the other withdraws. Maybe you avoid hard conversations because they seem to make things worse. Or maybe you still love each other, but you no longer know how to reach each other.

Couples counseling can offer a space to slow the cycle down, understand what keeps happening between you, and begin having different conversations.

IWhen Couples Therapy May Help

Couples often come to therapy when they are navigating:

• recurring conflict or chronic tension

• emotional distance or feeling more like roommates than partners

• trust issues or betrayal

• difficulty communicating without defensiveness, blame, or shutdown

• parenting stress and the strain of caring for others

• differences around sex, intimacy, money, family, or major life decisions

• grief, relocation, cultural differences, or major transitions

• premarital questions or the desire to build a stronger foundation

• separation, discernment, or the wish to part with more care and clarity

Some couples come in wanting to reconnect. Others are unsure what they want yet. Both are welcome places to begin.

How I Work With Couples

I’m Valerie Abitbol, MA, LMFT, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist offering online couples counseling to partners located in Colorado and California.

My approach is warm, engaged, and active. I don’t simply sit back while couples repeat the same painful conversation. I help you slow down, notice the cycle you get caught in, and better understand what each of you may be protecting, longing for, or afraid to say.

In couples therapy, we may work on communicating more clearly, softening defensiveness, repairing after hurt, rebuilding trust, and finding ways to feel more emotionally present with each other.

My work with couples is informed by attachment theory, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT) , Gottman Method, somatic therapy, and nervous-system-informed approaches.

When to seek relationship counseling?

Couples therapy and marriage counselling are beneficial at any stage of the relationship, however, the sooner, the better if your goal is to improve your relationship or build a strong foundation.

Some couples start couples counseling at the beginning of a relationship or before getting married (pre-marital counseling) to get support build a solid foundation for their relationship.

Other couples come to see me also at the end of their relationships or marriage, and wish to part peacefully, or need help to navigate the emotional roller-coaster of a separation, especially when children are involved.

Relationships Take Care

Most of us understand that relationships take work, but few of us are taught how to keep a relationship alive through stress, parenting, loss, change, conflict, and the ordinary pressures of daily life.

The goal of couples therapy is not to decide who is right or wrong. It is to understand the patterns that keep pulling you apart and to help you find more honest, compassionate, and effective ways of turning toward each other.

While we explore the difficult parts of your relationship, we will also pay attention to what still matters — what you appreciate, what has helped you stay together, and what kind of connection you want to build from here.

Online Couples Counseling in Colorado and California

I offer couples counseling online for partners located in Colorado and California. Online sessions can be especially helpful for busy couples, parents, professionals, couples in different locations, or partners who prefer the privacy and convenience of meeting from home.

For online couples therapy, you will need a private space where both partners can participate safely and without interruption.

Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash

Begin Couples Counseling

If you’re wondering whether couples counseling might be a good fit, I invite you to reach out for a free 20-minute video consultation.

EMAIL ME TO BOOK YOUR FREE 20-MINUTE VIDEO CONSULTATION